God Help Me! I am going crazy without my best friend and daughter! Liberty Lynn Candelaria died May 24th of this year and she had just turned 23 from unknown causes in her sleep. I have nightmares about finding her in her apartment and am now afraid to sleep since it is an unsafe state. She was the first college graduate of the family, did mission work here and abroad, loved God and was "the perfect child". I want to pick up the phone and tell her all the things that happen each day like old times and am still in disbelief that I can't. We were so close and for that I am grateful. I lost my mother 3 weeks after Liberty and now that the shock and numbness has started to wear I am feeling like every move I make is forced and no longer natural. Can't pay my bills, can't remember where I am driving once I do decide to leave the safety of my home, and so on. I want her back!!! I am so consumed with losing Liberty that I am unable to mourn the lost of my mother. And where are all the people that were here during the funeral? Their lives go on and I am left to drown alone in a hurricane of tears...no life ring in site. I have 3 other children that give me a reason to wake up everyday and somehow manage to keep moving and I am grateful. I just am sooooooooo alone even in a room full of people and I wish I could turn back the clock to a better day but can't!